Becoming a new mother is an adventure like no other, filled with joy, unexpected challenges, and lessons learned on the fly.
In hindsight, there are a few nuggets of wisdom I wish someone had shared with me before embarking on this incredible journey.
Caring for a baby isn’t just about feeding schedules or mastering the perfect swaddle. It’s also about navigating this new identity as a mom while keeping your sanity intact.
So, here are ten tips for new mothers that I wish I had known. And while each journey is unique, I hope my experiences can guide and reassure you in yours.
1) Trust your instincts
Becoming a new mother often feels like stepping into the unknown. You’re flooded with advice from books, blogs, dear friends, and even strangers in the supermarket.
While this unsolicited advice can sometimes be helpful, it can also be overwhelming and conflicting.
This is where your instinct comes in. Mother’s intuition isn’t just a myth—it’s a real thing. You know your baby better than anyone else, and deep down, you likely know what they need.
It’s important to sift through the noise, listen to your gut, and trust yourself. You’re doing an amazing job, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
But it’s also okay to ask for help when you need it. Balancing trust in your instincts with knowing when to seek guidance is part of the new mom journey.
You’re not alone in this. There are countless mothers who have walked this path before you and found their way—it’s all part of the incredible journey of motherhood.
2) It’s okay not to be perfect
In those early weeks of my son’s life, I remember feeling an immense pressure to do everything perfectly. I was constantly comparing myself to other moms on social media, with their picture-perfect homes and seemingly effortless transitions into motherhood.
One day, after a particularly challenging night, I found myself crying over a pile of unwashed laundry while my baby wailed in the background. It was then that I realized something crucial—I didn’t have to be perfect.
Motherhood is messy, unpredictable and certainly not always Instagram-worthy. And that’s okay. What matters more than a spotless house or a perfectly balanced meal is your love and care for your little one.
Let go of the pressure to be perfect. Embrace the mess. Know that it’s okay to have dishes in the sink, or to spend the whole day in your pajamas.
What your baby needs most is you, just as you are. You are enough, and you are doing an incredible job.
3) Sleep when your baby sleeps
Newborns can sleep up to 17 hours a day but they wake up frequently for feeds. This irregular sleep pattern can leave new moms feeling exhausted as you’re constantly waking up to attend to your baby’s needs.
One piece of advice that’s commonly shared is to “sleep when your baby sleeps”. This is not just a nice saying, it’s backed by science. Studies have shown that fragmented sleep patterns can lead to decreased cognitive function and even mood disorders.
Making sure you catch up on sleep when your baby is napping isn’t just beneficial for your rest, it’s essential for your health and well-being too.
You might be tempted to use this time to clean or catch up on other tasks, but taking care of yourself is just as vital as taking care of your baby. After all, a well-rested mom is a happier mom.
4) Embrace the help
When I first became a mom, I felt like I needed to do everything myself. I wanted to prove that I could handle motherhood without any assistance.
But let me tell you, it’s perfectly fine to accept help. In fact, it’s necessary! When friends or family offer to cook a meal, babysit, or even just keep you company, say yes.
It doesn’t make you any less capable or independent. If anything, it shows your strength in knowing when to delegate and take care of yourself.
It takes a village to raise a child. So embrace your village and let them lend a hand when they can. This journey isn’t meant to be walked alone.
5) Don’t forget to eat
In the whirlwind of diaper changes, feedings, and sleepless nights, it’s easy to forget about your own needs, including your nutrition. But as a new mom, eating well is more important than ever.
Your body needs fuel to recover from childbirth and to produce breast milk if you’re breastfeeding. Plus, maintaining a balanced diet can help keep your energy levels up — something every new mom needs!
Even if it’s just a quick snack while your baby naps or a smoothie you can sip on the go, make sure you’re prioritizing your nutrition.
6) Cherish the moment
Keep in mind to pause and soak in these fleeting moments. The softness of your baby’s skin, their tiny fingers wrapped around yours, the sweet smell of their head. These are the things you’ll cherish for years to come.
Even on the tough days, try to find joy in the small moments. Each coo, each smile, each gaze into your eyes is a precious memory being made.
Motherhood is a journey filled with highs and lows, but these tender moments make all the challenges worthwhile. Truly cherish them.
7) It’s okay to grieve your old life
After the birth of my first child, I was on cloud nine. But in the midst of all the joy, I found myself grieving my old life. The freedom to go out for dinner without arranging a babysitter, the luxury of sleeping in on weekends, or simply being able to have a shower without any interruptions.
This feeling of loss was unexpected and at first, I felt guilty for even feeling this way. But over time, I realized that it’s perfectly normal and okay to grieve your pre-baby life.
Becoming a mother is a major transition and it’s okay to miss certain aspects of your old life. It does not mean you love your child any less. It simply means you’re adjusting to a new normal.
Give yourself permission to feel all your feelings, even the unexpected ones. It’s all part of the beautiful, messy journey of motherhood.
8) Sometimes, a good cry is all you need
In those early days of motherhood, there will be times when you feel overwhelmed. You might find yourself bursting into tears in the middle of the night or while changing yet another diaper.
Contrary to what you might think, crying isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. It’s a natural response to stress and can actually be a form of release.
Tears can lower your body’s stress levels by releasing endorphins, our body’s natural feel-good hormones.
The next time you feel a wave of emotions coming on, don’t hold it back. Let it out. By acknowledging and expressing your feelings, you’re taking a big step towards managing them.
9) Celebrate small victories
Being a new mom is a tough job, and it’s easy to focus on the things you think you’re doing wrong. But it’s just as significant to celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem.
Did you manage to take a shower today? That’s a win. Did your baby finally fall asleep after a bout of fussiness? Celebrate that. Did you make it through a day of endless diaper changes and feedings without losing your sanity? You deserve a pat on the back.
Every little thing you do for your baby is an achievement, and it’s important to give yourself credit for it.
10) You’re stronger than you think
Motherhood is a beautiful, transformative journey, but it’s also one of the most challenging roles you’ll ever undertake. There will be moments of self-doubt, where you question your capabilities and wonder if you’re doing things right.
But trust me, you are stronger than you think. You are capable of more than you can imagine. And every single day, you’re growing and learning alongside your baby.
No one has all the answers in motherhood. We’re all just doing the best we can with what we know. And that’s enough.
So hold your head high and remember: You were chosen for this role for a reason. You are strong, capable, and you are exactly what your baby needs. Don’t ever forget that.
Embrace the journey
Motherhood is often depicted as a picture-perfect journey, filled with endless love and joy. While these moments certainly exist, the reality is often a beautiful mess of sleep deprivation, self-doubt, and overwhelming love.
In the midst of this whirlwind, it can be easy to lose sight of the fact that you’re not just a caregiver, but you’re also a person. A person with needs, dreams, and hopes.
Remember to take care of yourself and not lose sight of who you are amidst the demands of motherhood. After all, a happy and healthy mom is one of the best gifts you can give your child.
No two journeys are the same. Each mother’s experience is unique and shaped by her own circumstances and choices. Embrace your journey with all its ups and downs. Cherish the precious moments and learn from the challenging ones.
In the end, it’s not just about raising a child, but also about growing as a person. And that’s what makes this journey worth every step.
